Have We Figured Out What It All Meant Yet?

The thumpin’, I mean?

I’ve found the past couple of weeks to be remarkably soothing. There’s been the mini-baby-micro tussle between Pelosi and Murtha but come on, I’ve seen tension (like Gates, Rumsfeld, Bush at what can only be described as a Firing Ceremony) and Pelosi-Murtha was not tension. Now we’re all simply waiting around to see what, you know, like, happens and trying to estimate Tom Vilsack and Duncan Hunter’s chances in ‘08 (hint: sucky).

Meanwhile, I’ve gotta get busy on a new McSweeney’s piece about the ‘08 D and R candidates, a piece roughly based on this one.

Article about Conservatize Me in Newsweek

Complete with disturbing photos! And Kafka-referencing title!

Donkey-loving Conservatives

If this goes the way everyone seems to think it will, it’s going to be a result of the conservatives abandoning the Republicans and perhaps shacking up with the Democrats.

It’s easy to use the two words “conservative” and “Republican” as synonyms or even as a sort of compound word “conservativerepublicans” but I’ve noticed a growing gap between people with a conservative philosophy about the world and people who leverage those principles for political purposes. It’s something I first became aware of when I was researching my book and it seemed at the time (summer 2005) that non-Republican conservatives might have something to say about the future of the right in America. I went ahead and concentrated on this distinction in the book and have seen that prediction come true. In the book, …

TONIGHT: Reading at University Bookstore in Seattle

It will not be raining indoors. This is your penultimate chance to see a Conservatize Me (hardback edition) reading. The magic phrase to win a special prize is “Your book is a choco-taco of insight and hilarity”. Tonight’s prize is pretty special, too.

Monday • November 6 • 7pm
John Moe
Conservatize Me: How I Tried to Become a Righty with the Help of Richard Nixon, Sean Hannity, Toby Keith, and Beef Jerky (WILLIAM MORROW)
Reading & Book Signing
University District Store
Is one’s political persuasion a question of conviction or environment? John Moe, one of our favorite KUOW personalities, decided to spend some time in the shoes of red state America to see. In this very funny book, he chronicles his time spent listening to Rush Limbaugh and Toby Keith, test driving SUVs, getting all Charlton Heston on the firing range, and watching movies like “Red …

I’m Generalissimo Francisco Franco and I approve this message.

Mailer for dead candidate for Texas house neglects to mention her deadness. “We don’t suggest that there’s a great thing she’s going to accomplish for the voters in the future,” says one of her supporters. The candidate currently leads in the polls.

Rave Review!

In the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. It’s the paper that makes you intelligent afterwards.

TOUR DIARY: AT LONG LAST, AUSTIN

David Rakoff is scared that he’s about to be shot to death. I don’t know this even though I’m seated right next to him. The murder of the acclaimed writer, if it happens, would be even more shocking for me since minutes ago he gave me a pecan that he found growing wild on a path often walked by George W. Bush. This came a few minutes after he and I seemingly presided over a session of the Texas state senate. Am I about to be splattered with the very finely developed brain of David Rakoff, so soon after, I think, becoming friends with him?

I am in Austin, Texas. It is the Texas Book Festival. It was started by Laura Bush.

There were writers flying in to Austin in great numbers for the festival and t-shirt clad festival volunteers swarming the airport ready to give them rides. …

TOUR DIARY: MILWAUKEE

Milwaukee is an old Indian word meaning “My gosh, there’s a lot of bookstores here and I’m going to visit all of them immediately after getting off the airplane”. I know it seems odd that they would have such a term but they were a strange and mystical people. Later, they would form the Milwaukee Bucks basketball team. What was especially noble was that they used every part of the buck for that team: the organs would be used for the ball, the pelt for the uniform, and the antlers would be used for antlers that the players would strap to their heads, thus intimidating opposing players, especially in the low post.

I was met at the airport by Cathy (see previous day’s entry on the niceness of upper Midwest media escorts) who quickly began squiring me about Milwaukee and its surrounding areas. Something about a situation like this: they’re driving …

TOUR DIARY: MINNEAPOLIS AND ALSO ST. PAUL

The friendliness of upper Midwest media escorts should not be underestimated. As their weather is to snow, as their arteries are to cheese clogs, so too are there media escorts to genuine hospitality. Tim picked me up from the airport and shuttled me to eight bookstores over the course of a very busy day. He knew everyone. Made specific small talk with each bookseller regarding their particular lives, even asked one hotel concierge how his recent trip to the Streisand concert was. These guys are good.

The afternoon featured a trip to the studios of radio station WCCO, a station that positions itself as “Your Friendly Neighbor”. They tried going with “Your Creepy Neighbor with Broken Down Cars in the Yard Who May be Holding Satanic Seances  or Maybe Amway Meetings and Never Takes the Newspapers off the Windows” but that one didn’t test as well in focus groups. Go figure. …

TOUR DIARY: WASHINGTON, DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

(these feature more detail than you need but I’m not much of a picture taker, I’m a writer so I’m creating written souvenirs)

“Ah, there’s my favorite cab driver,” said the hotel porter, a sort of service-industry Mike Ditka. “I pay him with the Globe.” He gave the cabbie the newspaper, refused my tip and I got in.

“This is where I start my day. I get a free paper!” he said in, I think, a Boston-Pakistani accent. Ten minutes later, we were at the airport. I had gone out with friends the night before and that, combined with time zone maladjustment and knowing I had a 5:45 wake up call, meant I slept almost not at all. “Book tour…” I muttered while waiting for the commuter flight to DC.
Media escorts are good at finding the people they’re escorting. Long before you see the book they’re holding up, they’ve already found you. …